Happiness Begins With You

A1 057

A1 054I was thrilled to see that sweet Brit had given me spot on her guest post list.   I met Brit through the Bloggers Like Me group on Facebook that I created and I’m so glad she joined us. She’s been a huge contributor to the wonderful sense of friendship and community our group shares.  When Brit asked what my topic would be I didn’t have to think twice and I told her relationships.  Relationships are so vital in being whole.  I think we sometime forget the value of relationships, not just romantic relationships but relationships in general.  I decided to spend a moment on the relationship each of us should have with ourselves.  Enjoy!

So often when we’re going through difficulties in a relationship or when we question why certain relationships didn’t work, a familiar word of advice will be dropped on us, “you have to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with anyone else.”  I think many of us on the receiving end of that advice would roll our eyes at the expression, at least I know I did.  I remember feeling like I WAS happy and I wasn’t looking for “happiness” I was looking for a soul mate.  It wasn’t until later on in life, when God sat me down and gave me a real good whoopin’ that I realized that I wasn’t as happy with myself as I told myself I was but the silver-lining was that I was in full control of that.  I was in full control of my happiness.  

So, I say to you, friend to friend, if your relationship with yourself isn’t working, don’t expect your relationships with others to be any different.  Nobody else in this world can make you happy.  Just like no one else in this world can make you ambitious, make you fall in love, even make you wake up and go to work every morning.  Liking yourself and being happy with you is something you have to do on your own.   Just like you have to learn how to tie your own shoes before you can show others, you have to create your own happiness first before you can share it with someone else.

I’ll warn you that Mr Blame Game and Mrs. Feeling Sorry for Yourself will most definitely pay you a visit.  When you begin to feel that it’s your partner’s fault that you’re unhappy, think again, and look within yourself to find out what piece is missing.  Your partner can never ‘complete’ you because you are already whole.  The longing for completion that you feel inside comes from being out of touch with who you are.

There it is.  You may not like it, but it’s the truth.

{boots: Arden B || tee: vintage || jacket: F21 || tied shirt: old men’s shirt}



6 thoughts on “Happiness Begins With You

  1. OMGosh, how perfect is that. I’m emailing this post to my friends and mom right now. I love how you’ve worded it so sweetly, too. I especially love the second to last paragraph 🙂

  2. Wonderful advice and the topic is so true… We must love ourselves first before we can expect anyone else to love us. How can I copy this post & send to a friend who desparately needs to read this? I don’t want to hurt her feelings but she really needs to read this.

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