At times it feels like I’ve been pregnant for an eternity. Not really in a bad way, but in an anxious way. Along with my anxiety I have mixed feelings about what’s to come. I know I’ve been through this twice already but it’s true that every pregnancy is different. While being pregnant with Jaxon and Julia was a breeze, this pregnancy’s been a tad different, kind of unexpected. With that said, I’m praying that the delivery isn’t “unexpected”. I want it to go just as smoothly as my previous two. When I went into labor with Julia, I remember sitting in the hospital bed waiting for the epidural and hearing some poor woman down the hallway screaming her lungs out. Other than wondering why in the world these hospital rooms aren’t soundproof, I remember thinking to myself, Lord please don’t ever let that be me.
Along with my anxiety around this, I’ve been having mixed feelings and thoughts about what raising three children will be like. Probably not much different than raising two children, besides the fact that we’ll now be outnumbered. I honestly think that a lot of my concern stems from the recent news reports of children being abused in schools and churches. I tend to go off the deep end when it comes to protecting my children, and so these reports only add fuel to the fire. Yes, I’m that mom that will not let anyone other than mom and dad watch my children. Sleepovers…not a chance. Times are different now. Society isn’t the way it was decades ago (literally) when I was a kid. My feeling is it’s better to be safe than sorry. Anyways, I’ll leave that alone; I can feel my blood rising.
My point in mentioning all this was because this is a good reminder that even though this pregnancy does seem like an eternity, I’m making progress. Which reminds me of something someone once shared with me…You may not be where you want to be yet, but if you think about it, you’re no longer where you once were either. You have good reason to believe that you can trust yourself going forward. Not because you’ve always made the right choices, but because you survived the bad ones, and taken small steps in the right direction. So cry for a moment if you have to, and get it out of your system. Crying doesn’t indicate that you’re weak; since birth, it has always been a sign that you’re alive and full of potential. Once you’re done, keep going! You’re undoubtedly getting closer to where you want to be.
sweater: thrifted | top: hubby’s | pants: Earnest Sewn | sunnies: Ray Ban Wayfarers| shoes: ModCloth | purse: thrifted| earrings: MimiBoutique | necklace: gifted