Getting Closer

At times it feels like I’ve been pregnant for an eternity.  Not really in a bad way, but in an anxious way.  Along with my anxiety I have mixed feelings about what’s to come.  I know I’ve been through this twice already but it’s true that every pregnancy is different.  While being pregnant with Jaxon and Julia was a breeze, this pregnancy’s been a tad different, kind of unexpected.  With that said, I’m praying that the delivery isn’t “unexpected”.  I want it to go just as smoothly as my previous two.  When I went into labor with Julia, I remember sitting in the hospital bed waiting for the epidural and hearing some poor woman down the hallway screaming her lungs out.  Other than wondering why in the world these hospital rooms aren’t soundproof, I remember thinking to myself, Lord please don’t ever let that be me. 

Along with my anxiety around this, I’ve been having mixed feelings and thoughts about what raising three children will be like.  Probably not much different than raising two children, besides the fact that we’ll now be outnumbered.  I honestly think that a lot of my concern stems from the recent news reports of children being abused in schools and churches.  I tend to go off the deep end when it comes to protecting my children, and so these reports only add fuel to the fire.  Yes, I’m that mom that will not let anyone other than mom and dad watch my children.  Sleepovers…not a chance.  Times are different now.  Society isn’t the way it was decades ago (literally) when I was a kid.  My feeling is it’s better to be safe than sorry.  Anyways, I’ll leave that alone; I can feel my blood rising. 

My point in mentioning all this was because this is a good reminder that even though this pregnancy does seem like an eternity, I’m making progress.  Which reminds me of something someone once shared with me…You may not be where you want to be yet, but if you think about it, you’re no longer where you once were either.  You have good reason to believe that you can trust yourself going forward.  Not because you’ve always made the right choices, but because you survived the bad ones, and taken small steps in the right direction.  So cry for a moment if you have to, and get it out of your system.  Crying doesn’t indicate that you’re weak; since birth, it has always been a sign that you’re alive and full of potential.  Once you’re done, keep going!  You’re undoubtedly getting closer to where you want to be.

sweater: thrifted | top: hubby’s | pants: Earnest Sewn | sunnies: Ray Ban Wayfarers| shoes: ModCloth | purse: thrifted| earrings: MimiBoutique | necklace: gifted


12 thoughts on “Getting Closer

  1. You are a child of the Living God, you will be a FABULOUS mother of three!! Having three sons under the age of 4, I remember the amazing amount of organization, patience and stamina it took to juggle three babies, but you will be great!! There’s no such thing as being overprotective of your children, keep doin’ what you’re doin’!!

  2. When my daughter was a little girl I was careful and warned her about strangers. However the world wasn’t like it is now. If I had a child now I would be very much like you and I admit my daughter is grown but I still tend to worry about her. God bless you and yours.

  3. I totally agree with you Leslie! I don’t let anyone watch my daughter nor will there be any sleepovers when the time comes, other than at her grandparents homes. I’m sure 3 will be a-ok!

  4. They say the second + is suppose to be easier, but I raise my hand, I was one of the ladies who screamed her lungs out w/my second child (not a pretty sight according to my hubby and mother, I was very, very apologetic afterwards). It breaks my heart to hear children abused by the church and school. We leave our kids w/ adults in this profession in hopes nothing harmful will come their way. Back in the day, I remember my mother wanted to know who my friends were, where I was going at ALL times even if I was going to the store and coming right back to my friend’s house. I do the same to my sons and it gets on my oldest nerves, BUT WHO CARES!!! I have to know where they are at all times. If it doesn’t SMELL right than this arena Stinks, Naw you can’t go!!! It’s bad w/ me I’ll have scenarios in my head and will get upset like it actually happened. I’m sure mother’s out here (incld myself) really wish we had a table of contents of ALL answers, but even some answers are given, other circumstances pop up that are not in the book. I pray to God to give my children wisdom to know right from wrong ,protect them from harm’s way and give me and my hubby the tools to teach them the foundation what they need to survive. I tell them mom/dad are not going to be around forever. Just reading your blogs and your God driven spirit, God has truly blessed you and hubby. God will lead your family into the direction of his WILL.

  5. Awww! I hadn’t checked your blog for awhile and now I know why you have this “glow”! I commented on another post about you looking like a teenager. Congratulations!!!

  6. Hey baby!! My Godsister has 3 and she said it is no difference. I am sure the kiddos are so excited for the new bundle. I know I am. I feel like a virtual auntie. Have a good restful week 😉

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