Purpose

shirt: DIY from and old shirt | necklace: gifted | cargos: Domaine | shoes: Coconuts

The shirt above you may recognize from some previous posts such as this one.

 Around the time I got married, 5 years ago on May 27th, I remember several of my friends and acquaintances being so excited for me and telling me about their dreams of a picture perfect wedding day that they’d hoped for since they were little girls.  Others, shared with me how they can’t wait to find their Prince Charming and how they knew every single detail down to the second of what their wedding day would look like.  I wasn’t that girl and never have been.  Don’t get me wrong I was SUUUPER EXCITED that I was getting married.  When I was little, to be quite honest, I don’t ever remember even thinking about getting married, a white dress, bridesmaids, cakes, a Prince Anything let alone a Prince Charming…it was the furthest thing from my mind.  Even when we played house with the neighborhood kids, I was always the teenage daughter with a car and an attitude and my name was Tina.  I guess most of that is attributed to the fact that I didn’t have any sisters and my mom worked a lot, which I completely get adn don’t fault her for.  I remember many summers filled with riding bikes, watching The Richard Bey Show and playing tag football with my brothers.  When mom was home, we would be doing pretty random arts and crafts projects like, making bird’s nests out of bleach bottles, cooking homemade donuts {thebomb.com LOL shot out to the hubs and my girl Tiff}, or writing book reports, yes.  If we weren’t at home, we’d be at the beach {literally all day; I’m talking 10am to 6 or 7pm complete with hot dog spaghetti and all} or we’d be at the tide pools, or we’d be at the library.  Since she worked in the hotel industry we’d sometimes rent a room and hang out at the pool, hotdog spaghetti included.  Our options were pretty limited because we didn’t have a car, but my mom made it work and believe it or not, it was actually pretty fun stuff.  All that’s to say I didn’t have a girly girl childhood.  My dad was totally around, but he also worked a lot. I was by no means spoiled as you might expect the ‘only girl’ to be (I wore most of my brother’s clothes and second hand store finds…funny how it comes full circle) but whether that’s the reason or not, those storybook motherly/wifely expectations weren’t necessarily ingrained in me.  So, when I became a wife and then a mother, I didn’t have a dream or long list of aspirations to fall back on.  I kind of just wing it.  In no way do I want it to sound like I had a poor example for a mother, not even close.  In fact, I feel completely opposite.  I feel like I was very well rounded and exposed to a lot of things, especially when it comes to the great outdoors.  Those experiences contribute to the way I raise my kids and love my husband.  On the flip side, I also have the quintessential Hallmark card mother and wife to glean from, in Jonathan’s mom.  Jonathan’s mom has a very close relationship with her sons, her husband clearly loves her and cherishes her, she’s a phenomenal homemaker and she has a deep and close relationship with God {which no doubt was hard fought}.  I’m very fortunate. 

I say all this because from time to time I have days when I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing as a wife and mother.  When I feel like my priorities are out of flux or I’m not giving enough of myself to a certain family member or keeping up with household tasks.  There are times when I feel like, gosh, it’s been five years, shouldn’t I have the hang of this thing by now?  This morning began with these kinds of thoughts taking residency in my heart.  Then I read the following post from Girlfriends in God’s daily devotional and felt my worry melt away.

A few years ago, I fell in love with a beach cottage named “Barb’s Folly.”  I adored the designer beach décor of periwinkle blue, yellow stripes and floral patterns, the screened in porch that hugged the back of the house, the inviting dark green rocking chairs, and the weatherworn dock jutting out over the lazy canal. As if imported from England, a six-foot square of grass was nestled in one corner of the yard framed by a white picket fence. The secret garden was complete with fuchsia myrtle bushes in full bloom, a beckoning weathered bench, and a cozy bird house with a half dozen portals. Seemingly out of place, owners had transplanted a palm tree just inches from the second story screened in porch and encircled by the wooden steps that led to the dock. On our first night at “Barb’s Folly” we rocked on the porch and watched fire flies dance on the moonlit canal. As if to light a lone actor on a stage, a moonbeam fell across the palm tree and revealed a gentle stirring in its plume. When I moved closer, I discovered a turtledove had built her nest at the top of the thatched tree trunk, where the palm branches sprouted upward. Because we were on the second story, we were at eye level with Mrs. Turtle Dove. As I moved closer to her, she didn’t budge, but sat steadfast in her perch. Early the next morning, before the rest of the house guests stirred, I went on the porch to spend some time with God. Mrs. Turtle Dove was there to greet me. I watched her. She watched me. Our eyes locked. We both blinked. A few moments later, Mr. Turtle Dove flew in and perched on the nearby railing. The couple exchanged coos and then he flew over to his beloved. When she stood up to welcome him, I noticed two tiny eggs peeking out from under the stubble. It seems this was Mother’s Morning Out and Daddy bird was here to watch over the soon to be little ones. The momma bird flew away and daddy took over the incubation and protection of their eggs. After a brief time, the momma bird returned and daddy bird went off to work for the rest of the day. During our entire vacation, this momma bird did one thing and one thing only, she rested in the palm, warming and protecting her two tiny charges. On the afternoon when a violent storm blew through with loud claps of thunder, crackling flashes of lightening, and pelting sheets of rain, she sat undaunted by the storm and unmoved as the trees bent in the nautical winds. When the children ran up and down the stairs inches from her nest and leaned over the railing to get a better took, she appeared unalarmed by the stir of activity. While other birds such as cranes, pelicans and seagulls performed great feats, swooped gracefully into the water, and strutted about parading their showy display, her feathers were not ruffled but continued undeterred in her calling. On the last morning of our vacation, I was enjoying a final cup of coffee on the back porch and once again relishing in quiet time with God and His creation. Of course, Mrs. Turtle Dove was there to join me. “God,” I asked, “I know You put this bird here for a reason. What do you want me to learn from watching her this week? I don’t want to miss it.” Then God spoke to my heart. It was contentment. I was watching a picture of contentment in fulfilling God’s call. She was doing what God had made her to do for this season of her life, and she was intent and content in doing it. Regardless of the storms, regardless of what seemingly showy birds were doing, regardless of the endless stream of activity passing by her nest, regardless of the stares or others, she was unmoved from her task at hand. “Is that it, Lord?  Is that what You want me to see?” Just as I prayed those words, Mr. Turtle Dove flew in for his daily visit.  When his lady dove stood up to greet him, I noticed a piece of eggshell attached to her leg. She flew away with much excitement, and then I noticed a change in her nest. There lay two tiny downy hatchlings. The eggs had hatched and it was as if God was saying to me, Yes, Sharon. That’s it. This has been my gift to you this week.  Through my creation, you have seen a contented mother and the results of her commitment.  You do what I’ve called you to do.  Rest in the palm – of My hand. Don’t get distracted by the world around you: the storms of life, the endless stream of activity, other seemingly more glamorous “birds.”  Be relentless in your call. In due time, I will cause your “eggs to hatch” and all too soon they will leave the nest.About that time, my six-foot-one teenage son sleepily stumbled out onto the porch. I’m not sure if he saw the tears in my eyes as I looked at his ruffled hair, sleepy eyes, and face that needed a shave. “Hey Buddy,” I said. “Look. The eggs hatched today.”

Literally speechless!

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28 thoughts on “Purpose

  1. WOW what a beautiful reminder of GODS purpose. As a mom of 18 and 22 year old young men I have struggled over the years with my journey as a MOM…especially after my marriage ended after 14 years. Being a single mom was/is tough but as I grow in my faith, I realize that as long as I keep GOD 1st, things always work out. The storms of life just give me chances to EXCERSISE my faith.

    I really enjoyed the story and I appreciate your story as well. It’s always nice to know that we as women/mothers share similar experiences. thanks for your HONESTY

    I’m new to your blog and I will be back because I really like your POSITIVE energy….

    god bless

    dee in san diego

  2. I’m the one in the valley…I might surprise u one day @ church, lol. I just thought that was too funny about thebook reports! I also had cousins who would do the mixing up medicine things, ha ha. Tricking me into drinking alka seltzer by saying it’s sprite!

  3. Very nice and inspirational words chica..I totally know how you feel. While I didn’t grow with a mom, I had my father, he was my rock. Yup…I still look at my son and husband and wonder what did i do that was good to deserve them….nevertheless I am one grateful chica, for all of God’s fulfilled promises. I sooooo copying that outfit…LOL

  4. WOW!!!! It seems like this was meant for me to read TODAY, not yesterday or tomorrow, but TODAY. I can’t even begin to put into words how your story touched me and Mrs.TurtleDove as well. Thank you for sharing

  5. I think its very wonderful having a God fearing woman who isnt ashmed of God and expresses herself the way you do. Keep being real and may God continually bless and guide you:)
    xxx

    1. Thank you Bertha! So often we can fall into the trap of perceiveing someone’s outward show of faith for conceit or self righteousness. I’m so glad that this is not how I come across. Thank you and God bless you!

  6. This was simply beautiful, from beginning to end. This post spoke directly to me today. I’m surrounded by “showy birds” and a constant stream of activity…but I WILL REST IN THE PALM. This is where God has me right now, and I will be content.

    I’m wiping away happy tears and thanking God for people like you who share what’s on their heart.

    1. Thank you for your words Jeanette! They mean a lot to me. I, too, could feel my eyes welling up. It’s just something about this that struck a cord with me that I don’t feel like I’ll ever forget. Resting in the palm. No place I’d rather be.

  7. I loved this post! That passage/post was very inspirational – thanks for sharing.

    Isn’t it amazing that our maternal instincts just kick in when we need them to? I am in no way, perfect as a wife and mother – but I am learning everyday. And will continue to – just as you will. I am lead by the example of my mother, but I also make it a point to implement my own style and start my own legacy. We have to! Your kids will have a different experience than you did and that is OK! I am sure your babies and hubby appreciate you beyond belief! Congrats on the 5 years, anniversaries are so special. Wishing you many, many, many more happy years of union. 🙂

    Lastly, that outfit is AMAZING! I love the color combo, muted bottoms and the bright pop in the top. Those cut-out booties are HOT!

    1. Amen! You’re sweet, Lexy! I think one of my biggest challenges is the fear of regret. I get so hung up on decision making because I don’t want to end up with feelings of regret. I’m working on that. Being a wife and mommy is a daily process of learning. Day by day it’s something new, but in it all I’m grateful! Happy Anniversary to you too! 🙂

  8. Beautiful and inspiring! Don’t have doubts, you are a great perspon and you are here doing a greta job, for your family and your comunitty. God bless you and give you wisdom and strenght. I have to said you looks stunning in this picture! Vavaboom!! Love the outfit and the look. Your hair is fabulous!! Kuddos girl!!

  9. I swear we need to meet…Almost all of the same experiences that you say that you had, I have had. I was laughing and crying at the same time cause it seemed so true to my life! Book reports, yes! I needed this cause I have had some of the same doubts about my life recently and the things going on in my marriage. I totally appreciate your blog and I am glad you are here.

    1. Lol! I’m glad I wasn’t the only one writing book reports. Lol. Girl, no joke we used to write letters to General Mills and all kinds of companies to see if they’d send us coupons for free stuff. When we were really bored my bros and I would sneak in the bathroom and pour all kinds of ingredients in the sink (pepto bismol, cough syrup, Visine,etc) and dare each other to taste it. Waaaaay TMI. Anyways, ya it’s funny how much we have in common when we put ourselves out there. Where are you located?

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