More About Goodwill


sweater: thrifted | belt: hubby's | shorts: DIY | leggings: Target | booties: Urban Original | purse: bisou bisou

You might recall  several weeks ago I blogged about “goodwill” in a post titled, Goodwill Hunting.  I shared with you the insight that I had gained from the book Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs.  You left me a lot of positive feedback about your own relationship experiences and how the information I shared with you was helpful.  I thought I’d share some more from Eggerichs blog.

(excerpts from) What Does It Mean to Have Goodwill?

Two vital truths that can help the Love and Respect couple (those committed to the Love and Respect principles) develop mutual understanding and good communication: 

1. The mouth matters (what comes out of the mouth depends on what is in the heart).

2. Husbands and wives are not wrong, just very different (as different as pink and blue, as different as her need for love and his need for respect).

The third vital truth focuses on another simple but crucial concept: both of you must see each other as goodwilled persons. When one or both of you see the other as goodwilled, good things are in store for your marriage!

But what is goodwill? And how do I know I am showing goodwill toward my spouse? How can I be sure my spouse has goodwill toward me?

A simple definition of goodwill is “the intention to do good toward the other person.” But there is much more to it than that. A spouse may intend to do good, but fail to deliver. Good intentions do not necessarily guarantee good results.

The apostle Paul captured the reality of good intentions but poor follow-through when he wrote about his own struggles with the flesh in Romans 7:19: “I don’t do the good things I want to do. I keep on doing the evil things I don’t want to do” (NIRV).

We all know what Paul is talking about. You or your spouse may want to do the right thing, but you don’t; or you or your spouse may want to stop doing the wrong things, but you don’t. When your spouse fails to follow through on good intentions, your definition of goodwill must also include the idea that goodwilled people do not mean any harm; they do not intend real evil toward one another. Your spouse may be neglectful, forgetful, or make a careless, even thoughtless remark.  As a result, you may be hurt or angry and may lash out in some way to retaliate. But despite all these failings, deep down you both care for each other. Beneath the turmoil on the surface of what is going on, your goodwill remains intact.

I don’t know about you, but for me the words within those few paragraphs have tremendous meaning and impact.   Eggerich’s really hits home.  I’m sure many of us can attest to the fact that our spouses really know how to get under our skin at times.  Likewise, I know I have done, and inevitably will do some things that annoy my husband to no end.  But, if I were to sit and think about it, I know in my heart of hearts as he does in his, that neither of us would ever imagine intentionally inflicting pain on the other, therefore we have goodwill toward each other.

Disagreements are a part of every worthwhile relationship.  Knowing how to disagree is such a critical part of relationships, especially marriage.  Honoring him, respecting him, loving him and showing him goodwill can only positively impact our relationship.  Wouldn’t you agree?


10 thoughts on “More About Goodwill

  1. Um, where have you been mama? Youtube misses you lol!

    But i love the DIY shorts and booties- too cute!

    ps. I’m on blogger. Check me out sometimes =) I’d love to hear your thoughts —-http://she’

    1. HA! You can blame my insecurities. My pal told me that when I post links on my blog directing folks to YouTube that she doesn’t go. Which made me think that it’s likely that others don’t go, making me feel like I was wasting my time. I guess I should tell her to get with program and watch my YouTube videos. LOL Thanks for watching. Oh and I checked out your blog. A. Why are you SOOO cute! Love it B. I need that gold Michael Kors watch and 3. (i love when people mix letters and numbers when making a point. lol) Your make up is flawless! Guess what? You’ve got a new follower!

    1. I’m glad you got something out of it. I’ve said it before, but with blogging you never really know whether what you write will resonate with readers or be a complete miss. Thanks for the feedback!

  2. I really love this outfit. Living over here on the right side of the country, around this time of the year, I forget about wearing shorts with tights but I’m going to try this look out before it gets way too cold.

    I enjoyed what you shared about having Goodwill and Love & Respect principals. I’m not currently in a relationship but this is great information to apply and live by. I’ll make sure to reference this once I’m blessed with someone special.

    So, I’ve missed your episode of “Let’s Make A Deal”? I usually always watch the show but recently, school has kept me busy :-\
    Much congrats on the winnings though. 🙂

    1. Since I live in the weather-less capital of the world, we can pretty much wear anything, anytime and get away with it. The forecast actually said it was supposed to be in the 50s (brrr) but true to self that good ol’ Southern California weather hit 75 degree before noon.

      When it comes to relationships, I’m full of advice. Not that I’m an expert, but having run into my share of frogs before meeting my prince, I can offer a lot of experience. Feel free to ask if you have any questions. 🙂

      I’m going to post the link to the episode of Let’s Make A Deal in my next blog post. Then you can see just how goofy your Fashion du jour pal is! LOL Thanks!

  3. Hi there! Cute outfit! I feel a little wierd telling you this but I happened to be watching the “Let’s Make a Deal” game show and noticed you on there or someone that looked like you! I believe you won like $5K! If it was you, CONGRATS! But if not, you definitely have a twin some where. LOL.. BTW.. I love your blog.

    1. LOL! That was me. I’m such a nerd. My church’s youth group attended the taping of Let’s Make a Deal back in August and it just so happened that Wayne selected me as a contestant. It was completely unexpected. I SO wanted to tell the world but one of the rules was that we couldn’t share the news until the show aired. We found out the air date the night before. It was so much fun!!!

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